NF - HAPPY

Dear God, please, hear me out
I know it's been a couple years
Since I've reached out and said hello
I bet You're wondering

Why I keep
Obsessing on and stressing all the little things
When I should be
Living life and soaking up the memories

I know I've been selfish, I have
No excuse to give you, it's true
Hanging by a thread's how I live
I don't know why, but I feel more comfortable

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem
Go up in flames, acting like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy

Yeah, been this way so long
It feels like something's off when I'm not depressed
I got some issues that I won't address
I got some baggage I ain't opened yet

I got some demons I should put to rest
I got some traumas that I can't forget
I got some phone calls I been avoiding
Some family members I don't really connect with

Some things I said I wish I would of not let slip
Some hurtful words that never should of left my lips
Some bridges burned, I'm not ready to rebuild yet
Some insecurities I haven't dealt with, yes

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a lonely soul
And the last to admit I need a hand to hold
Losing hope, headed down a dangerous road
Strange, I know, but I feel most at home when I'm

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem
Go up in flames acting, like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy

Don't know what's around the bend
Don't know what my future is
But I can't keep on living in

Living in my agony, watching my self-esteem
Go up in flames acting, like I don't
Care what anyone else thinks, when I know truthfully
That that's the furthest thing from how I

Feel, but I'm too proud to open up and ask ya
To pick me up and pull me out this hole I'm trapped in
The truth is, I need help, but I just can't imagine who
Who I'd be if I was happy

If I was happy

If I was happy